One Gram Gold Coin

I was working in my office, when three smartly dressed guys turned up. They looked like med reps. “Doctor, can we take a few minutes of your time?” one of them asked politely. Actually I had some important document to study. But they had come to see me in this warm weather, and I did not have the heart to say no. “OK, please sit down” I said. They took seats. “Doctor, we have this wonderful brand of calcium” they showed me a multicolor brochure, with pie charts and bar diagrams, and tables showing comparison with other brands of calcium. It is water soluble, does not interfere with bowel movements, and does not impair absorption of iron”. “OK” I said. Every med rep said the same thing about his brand. That was the standard sales talk. “Here are some samples. Please try them and if you like them, prescribe our product.” “OK” I said, happy that they had finished and I could go back to work. I was wrong. They did not get up to go away. “Doctor, we have a scheme” the most senior rep said. He must be the manager. “If you give exclusive support to our brand, and we find that at the end of six months your prescriptions have resulted in a significant sale of the calcium, we will give you one gram pure gold coin.” I had encountered different types of med reps, but this one was a new one. I looked at them again to see if they were joking. They seemed dead serious. “No, thank you” I said. “I find many things wrong with your proposal. What you are suggesting is in my mind highly unethical. If I needed gold, I would have gone into lucrative private practice, not remained an academic in a teaching hospital. I cannot do what you want me to. But even if I wanted to, your bargain has flaws. You are making an offer with no guarantees. You are not specifying how much sale deserves that gold coin. For all one knows, you could do the disappearing trick after the sales truly go up. Or you could claim the sales had not gone to the level desired and hence no gold coin could be given. There is no quantification. A good business deal is one gram gold for a specific amount of sale, so that some doctor may earn even 10 gold coins in your six months.” I wondered if they understood the sarcasm. “Please tell me all your products in obstetrics and gynecology” I said. They rattled off six names. “I will remember these names. I used to prescribe these medicines for their merit. But I feel you have insulted me by putting me in that category in which they prescribe for gold, money, junkets and the like. I am a human being, and I feel badly when insulted. To get even, I will not prescribe any of your products hence forth.” They seemed taken aback. When they made no move to go away, I said “I have a lot of work and not enough time. Will you kindly let me do my work now?” They went away at that. A couple of months later, they came back with a new manager. I listened to their sales talk, and said “I have stopped prescribing your products because your company insulted me by offering me a gold coin in return of prescriptions.” “Doctor, the previous person made a mistake. That scheme was not meant for teaching hospital doctors. I was meant for private practicing doctors.”