Experiments in Lecture Management

Life of a medical teacher is dull. Luckily we are clinicians with a flair for research or performing experiments. I try something new now and then to keep boredom at bay. I had a lecture for undergraduate students today. I have seen so many batches of students that I know almost all their tricks of marking their presence when they are somewhere else. It is a challenging task to beat them in this game, and I love that challenge. I circulated the attendance sheet with instructions that it should get back to me in 15 minutes. I knew it would take longer, but my time limit kept them on their toes, so that the extra adrenaline in their circulation kept them awake at least for some time after they had signed their names. Some time later I announced that at the end of the lecture I would keep 5 minutes for a head count, and if the count was less than the number of signatures on the attendance sheet, there would be trouble. By that time two-third students had signed. I told them I would give them five more minutes to complete the job, and also to cancel any proxy signatures they had put. Some of the students developed a malicious glint in their eyes after I said this. So I told them not to cancel signatures of their enemies out of spite, only because they had a chance. Those without a glint in the eyes laughed at that while those with that glint lost it promptly. Finally the lecture was over and the attendance sheet found its way back to me. Then I got a guy in the first occupied row (which was actually the thrid row, the first two being kept vacant so as to be at a safe distance from the teacher for reasons unknown to me) to do the head count for me. I then took opinion of the house which unanimously agreed that I should also get another guy at the other end of the row to do the head count, so that there would not be any error. They finished their counts together, and luckily the counts matched. That was wonderful. All the students including the two involved in the counting liked that and showed their appreciation. After all it would have been quite traumatic to start the count again had the two counts not matched. I myself am quite lousy with such counts. When I withdraw cash from the bank, my count of the bank notes is different every time I count them, if there are a lot of bank notes. There were three minutes to go, when three students strolled into the lecture hall. I asked them if they had come late for the first lecture or early for the second lecture. That confused them and they turned to go back. So I shouted "stop! Don't go away. Come in. I am the next lecturer actually." The students who had endured the last one hour of teaching liked that one too, and showed their appreciation.