Gentleness and Finesse

Normally I do not say something that is not straight. I prefer people do the same with me. Some people don’t get the idea and bug me. If they do, I end up saying something spontaneously, that no I could never achieve by meticulous planning. It is about the same Head of Department, Dr XXX who kept claiming they had as much work as we had, and did it far better than we did. I would not mind it, because I know there can be institutes better than mine, and people better than us. But if it is a make believe, I don’t want to stand silent witness to such claims. This person would say those things every time feeling lousy, and would keep feeling lousy. She would proclaim whatever she wanted in a voice that would do well on a parade ground, both in volumes and authority. She would have something better to say about herself and her people when we said anything about us. The last say on any matter would be hers. I was never in competition because I knew there was no competition. But to suffer silently for whatever time we forced to be in the same room was something I did not need, nor deserve. The last meeting was a time I managed to stay reasonably away most of the time, so that I did not suffer as much as usual. But she did manage to irritate me quite a bit. Then we were served tea. She did not want sugar in hers, and a Dean also did not want any. The Dean shook out a tablet of synthetic sweetener out of a small box and put it into her tea. Then she offered it to this Head of department too. She took the box, and struggled to get a tablet out. It wouldn’t come out. She pressed the box on all aspects, but to no avail. "There must be a button to be pressed" I offered. She pressed whatever that resembled a button, without any result. "You must get this box repaired so that it works" she declared. The Dean was apologetic. "It does act up a bit sometimes" she said. "Here, let me do it for you." The box was returned to the Dean. She held it delicately, pressed it seemingly effortlessly wherever it was to be pressed, and out popped a tablet. She handed it over to the Head, who took it without comment. "XXX Madam, you have to do it gently and with finesse" I heard myself say loudly enough for everyone to hear, though in a friendly tone. The Dean was pleased, because it implied she had gentleness and finesse, which she did have. "Yes!" she enthused. "It is not like the clamps you apply during the operations you perform." She mimed the process of application of a clamp with her hand up in the air, fingers spread out widely like for strangling someone, and then closing her fist furiously around an imaginary clamp. The target of all this kept her mouth shut, an unheard of thing in her life. She prided herself in her appearance, style, and superiority. What transpired must have hit her below the belt. I actually had played without premeditation a masterly move, criticizing her but stopping retaliation by recruiting her senior officer as my ally in the game.