One of my past students needed something from me. He said he would call me again in a couple of days, by which time I would get the information. He did not call, but I did. Then he said he would visit me. We fixed a day. I planned my schedule and kept it flexible enough so that I would be able to accommodate him whenever he came. He never did. He did not call to cancel the appointment, apologize for not being able to come, nor for rescheduling it. I did not call again to see what had happened, because I realized he belonged to that group of people who do not realize that promises are meant to be kept, and they are expected to communicate and explain if they cannot keep their promises.
This started me thinking, and I started remembering a lot of people who have done this before. There was that Professor of a superspecialty, who had said he had received a number of medical eBooks of different specialties on a DVD and would give those to anyone who wanted to read those.
"I would like to borrow these books" I said.
"Of course. I need to get them on another DVD and give you" he said.
I called his office and residence a number of times. It has been three years since that conversation took place. I am yet to see a single book, though I have given up on it, and I do not want any too. I purchased all the books I need. This came up again when one of our Associate Professors said the other day "Dr xxxx (the same person quoted above) said he had a DVD full of ebooks. He said he would give the ebooks to anyone who wanted them."
"Did you get any" I asked.
"No."
"So he does that to many people, not just me" I said. She smiled with understanding.
I plan to ask my psychiatry colleague which personality disorder it is, in which the subject volunteers to do or give something, and just does not do it, no matter what.
