DNR and DNCP

'Do not resuscitate' is an order that is given to the doctors and paramedics by a patient, before he/she reaches the stage that would require resuscitation. It is done by some people who have lived (in their opinion) enough, and do not wish to be traumatized to be kept alive at all costs. Perhaps it is given by some who have a terminal illness and do not want to live a life with handicaps after resuscitation. It is signed by the patient and his/her physician. I suppose there is some legality too, such as a witness and a magistrate to sign it. The medical power of attorney is given to a relative in some cases. The ethical and social aspects of DNR are not under discussion at this moment. I just wanted it defined for comparison to something I call DNCP.

Once there was a condolence meeting in our institute, after the death of an eminent consultant who had retired long ago. The family members were called. A number of past faculty turned up. Some office bearers of medical political bodies turned up too. The highlights were as follows.

1. Many of them spoke, some briefly, some until they were stopped by others.
2. Some of them spoke good things about the deceased.
3. Most of them spoke about themselves more than about the deceased.
4. Some of them spoke exclusively about themselves, making brief references to the deceased.
5. Someone said "he was wonderful. He learned from me, his student!"
6. Someone said "we had such a grand time drinking together. He would love his glass of wxxxxy.".
7. Someone said "we were watching him perform a tubal reconstructive surgery. We were amazed he just knocked off the tubes!"
8. Some of them told funny anecdotes and a lot of people laughed, the speakers before the audience.
9. Some others said a few things I cannot bear to put in print.
10. All of these things were said while the bereaved family members sat there and listened.

I could not bear it and wanted to go away. But I could not because it would have hurt the family members further. But I decided to initiate a move in my department called DNCP - short for 'Do Not Condole Publicly'. Those staff members not wishing such indignity on themselves posthumously under the guise of condolence may fill up the prescribed form (which we still have to develop) and keep that in the DNCP file. In such cases we will just pay our respects by standing in silence for five minutes.